Phew, the last weeks were something…special...
I’ve been on an advertising production at the end of March, following an extensive phase of preparation, calls, and virtual meetings. We’ve been working as a team on a setup of 8 key visuals and many side-shots over four shooting days, an average of 14 hours a day. Plus a plethora of side shots. Albeit it was a heavy production, there was a great spirit in the team, and looking at the pictures and everything we achieved in a short amount of time and under hardened circumstances made me proud and happy. (Special mention to our local producer for fighting the good fight for us; you know who you are! ♥️)
I’m looking forward to showing you what we did in Austria when the campaign is released. Big time!
After wrapping, I had to drive back from Austria by car to get back in time for the next two-days job the day after, which meant being on the road for almost 9 hours. Half the way in, I noticed that something was off. I felt exhausted but took short naps on the side of the road frequently. Eventually, after getting stopped and inspected by the police on the border to Germany, machine gun in hand. (I must have looked entirely shattered..)I made it home. I said Hi to the family and started to pack gear for the next day, but everything felt like slow motion and packed in cotton. Sweaty palms and crippling headache included.
In the morning, I woke up and realized: I was sick…for real now. So I pulled out a Covid test, and yes, there it was: The second visit by our unwelcome spiky friend—two stripes on the white bar of doom.
I called the producer and told him we had to cancel last minute. I kept auditing myself internally, back and forth, but no grain of energy was left in my body. No way of picturing myself on a set for two full days. Not even talking about the risk of infection on set for everyone in the team and around. (It’s crazy per-se that I even thought about pushing through this in the first place)
Luckily they quickly found a substitute photographer in the morning. Otherwise, it would have been bound for disaster and all the prep work down the drain.
But there I was, sitting in my office, sleeping on the couch and locked in, knowing that I had to separate from my family for days until this fucking infection that fucking annoyed us over the last three fucking years would be over…
After taking what I thought was proper rest and getting rid of fever and headache, my first impulse was to sit down immediately and create something as I always did when times were slow. Or at least something to keep the daily business running. Updating the website, posting to social, taxes, reinvigorating the spirit of the ever-popular C19 Diary, you name it…
But I struggled to keep up, and I felt the pressure and loneliness, being locked into a room for days, hearing the joyful noises of my kid from outside my door without being able to take part in playtime, let alone I was missing his cuddles and kisses. And my body was still crying for sleep 24/7. Ultimately I found relief in binge-watching obscure survival content on Youtube.
My main nemesis, my holy grail, my golden calves after becoming a dad and working as an advertising and commercial photographer most of the time has always been one magical word:
BALANCE
But there is a huge caveat: Balance is a fragile, moody, and notoriously unreliable friend. Balance is especially endangered when there are unforeseen occurrences. Balance is the exception, not the norm.
Over the last three years, my work mode as a photographer and filmmaker changed fundamentally. I was leaping, working primarily in editorial to strongly focusing on advertising and commercial work. This shift meant I moved from working for magazines up to 6 days a week on different assignments to 4-5 bigger productions a year and a few smaller ones scattered in between.
I have been striving to reach this goal for a long time because it ideally means that I’m working in concentrated blocks throughout the year on a much higher return and ideally using the time in between to focus on family, personal work, and all the liabilities surrounding freelance life. Or to sit in the garden and enjoy the silence.
There goes the theory. And usually, under normal circumstances, there is a good cycle of creativity in the downtime between productions.
But in reality, a good portion of proper rest is needed after a demanding production. There is the time required to reconnect with the family after a time away from home. There is post-production and pre-production and taxes and bookkeeping. And there is the personal work.
In an ideal world, there is a healthy balance between ideation, implementation, and rest. And it’s worth noting that this cycle is nothing short of the golden grail for a healthy balance in creativity. But it’s nonetheless a luxury state, rarely reached and often aspired for.
Here’s what the ideal cycle of creativity looks like in a world unobstructed by outside influence:
Preparation: This is the stage where you gather information, research, and brainstorm ideas.
Incubation: This is the stage where you let your ideas simmer and take a break from actively thinking about them.
Illumination: This is the stage where your ideas start to come together, and you have a breakthrough or a moment of inspiration.
Implementation: This is the stage where you put your ideas into action and create something tangible.
But in reality, it looks a lot more like this:
And you know what: Cool.
I came to the conclusion for myself that the main thing to do is to accept that proper balance will never be achieved nor be aspired to either. In the truest sense, development means accepting that life always has non-linear seasons.
There is only as much as you can do in tiny steps ahead. Taking it one step at a time means constant improvement.
So this is it, the constant showing up, even to the tiniest steps that feel like progress for yourself. And this includes taking rest and recovery into account.
My two-year-old kid goes through various seasons in his development. And our primary task as parents is to gently accompany all the steps without being judgmental or worried, patiently and benevolently.
Do you see the analogy?
Watching your creative development the way you would watch your kid's development, gently leading the way without judgment, gently intervening if paths diverge, and indulging when changes and progress take time.
Scrapping impatience from the list of personal traits. The game-changing concept has a name: Show up constantly but be realistic about your time/energy/demands.
This is eternal work in progress. Now back to the drawing board. And let’s keep this text and drawings only this time for good measure.
xoxo Ramon
By the way, Substack launched a new tool called Notes, and Elon Musk is shivering. Find me there for pretty pictures and short-form ramblings on everything that goes through my head at any given moment. Be warned.
Notes is a new space on Substack for us to share links, short posts, quotes, photos, and more. I plan to use it for things that don’t fit in the newsletter, like work-in-progress or quick questions.
How to join
Head to substack.com/notes or find the “Notes” tab in the Substack app. As a subscriber to Notes from the Lab, you’ll automatically see my notes. Feel free to like, reply, or share them around!
You can also share notes of your own. I hope this becomes a space where every reader of Notes from the Lab can share thoughts, ideas, and interesting quotes from the things we're reading on Substack and beyond.
If you encounter any issues, you can always refer to the Notes FAQ for assistance. Looking forward to seeing you there!
I love your analogy! So true.